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by the time i finish this post, i will have turned 50 years old.
i spent over 40 years of my life not celebrating my birthday, and it never seemed like a big deal to me.
three years ago, i received a cake and some friends sang "happy birthday" to me at a dinner party that was for a different event.
I'm just wondering how the rest of you deal with your birthdays after leaving the organization.
I was born on the 4th of July (U.S Holiday) so every year on my birthday, there were two fun occasion that I wasn't allowed to participate in. Even as a born-in, I never could understand the reasoning behind the JW birthday ban.
When I became a Dad my wife and I used to secretly do a little something special for our boys when it was their birthday. I'd bring home a special desert and after dinner I would recount the night they were born and our trip to the hospital and all excitement that took place on the occasion of their birth. I loved the shy yet proud look that would come across their faces as we let them know in this small and "forbidden" way, how very much they were loved and wanted.
The year we stopped going to meetings, I turned 50 and even though I had lost every friend I ever had, instead of everything going wrong like they say it will, everything got better. I had started a new job and it was and still is the best job I ever had. Apparently when I was hired, someone kept track of when my birth date so on the day before the 4th of July Holiday, my name was announced over the P.A system and I was summoned to the penthouse on the 22nd floor. I thought maybe I was in some sort of trouble or something bad was finally going to happen. Instead, I walked into a beautiful banquet room with floor to ceiling windows and a balcony that overlooked the City and the waterfront. It was all decked out with balloons and streamers and a cake with candles and food and smiling faces. Even when they all began shouting "Surprise !! "and "Happy Birthday!!", I had no idea what was going on.
After realizing what was happening, I remember being embarrassed because I was the center of attention. As a JW's it was drilled into my head that drawing undue attention to ones self is frowned upon. I was a bit panicked because I didn't know how to act or what I was supposed to do or say. Everyone was laughing because they had to instruct me each step of the way. "Go on Pete....Make a wish"...."Blow out the candles" "Open your present", they shouted.
They thought my awkwardness was due to their success at my being so completely and thoroughly surprised. Little did they know that at 50 years of age, I had never ever celebrated a birthday in my life and had never even so much as been to a birthday party let alone had one in my honor. Nor did they suspect that I was half scared that I would be struck down with lightning for participating in a pagan ritual and for not making my usual righteous stand for Jehovah....(AKA the Governing Body).
The following week, I went to the Lake Tahoe Apostafest and a wonderful group of former JW's sang 'Happy Birthday" to me, as we all sat around the campfire on a beautiful starry night.
I well understand the melancholy one can feel when they've reached a milestone that seems as if it should be marked in someway. It can leave a person feeling a bit flat, when such occasions come and go and no one notices. My 50th was memorable but I've had lots of times that instead of being "occasions" like one might hope, they simply came and then went.
Anyway, your 50th year is 365 days long. There's still time to mark the occasion in some memorable way. Make your 50th year one that you'll never forget !
So Happy 50th birthday to you...you're not getting older....you're getting better !
every now and then i look on line for people i knew in the kingdum hall.
some are on social networks to a limited deg.
but a lot are not on the web at all.
Many of the middle aged JW's I know stay off of facebook because there were such dire warnings from the platform about the internet around the same time that Myspace first came out and so they view facebook in the same suspicious way even though just about every JW under the age of 40 has a facebook account.
The same older ones who won't use facebook, will use Instagram because in their skewed minds they figure it's somehow different or less suspect since it can be accessed on the phone rather than on a computer. Many of them made such a point of badmouthing the internet, myspace and facebook, that out of pride and in order to save face, they still refrain from going online but they will allow themselves to use Instagram because they think it's not the same.
i converted at age 22, and left 15 years later (1988) so i don't really know what its like to be in high school as a jw.
for those of you who do know: do teenage jw's hang out with each other?
worldly kids?
I think because being a JW is mostly a social outlet these days and the adults who grew up as JW's aren't as uptight as the old hard core JW's I grew up with, the kids today probably have more opportunities to have fun and know lots of JW's around the world.
It used to be all about bible knowledge and defending the truth. Now it seems to be about presenting an image and playing along with the rules just to fit in and pass yourself off as acceptable to the group.The kids now have social media to keep in touch with their friends and they have access to more information than we did and it's probably easier for them not to take the religion too seriously yet still take advantage of the social aspect of it.
They've seen so many videos of the JW leaders, that they've become commonplace to them. Many JW's don't seem to be as in awe of them anymore and some will even get up and go back to the bathroom, during their televised talks.
many common phrases i've used all my life have been made obsolete by technology advancements.
"roll up the window" (car windows don't roll up any longer with a hand crank.).
"hold your horses.
On the flip side (another old term) we still say some expressions even though they don't apply as much anymore such as:
in the area i live in the pacific northwest, three spanish congregations we're merged into two a couple of years ago and in the next month or so four english congregations will be cut down to three.
both situations happened because of lack of growth.
a few years ago, i would never have imagined spanish congregations disappearing or merging but it's happening.
I'm in the PNW as well. Are you able to list the congregations that are merging? If not could you send me a PM? I'd be curious to know.
you might be a jehovah's witness if, to not feel guilty on saturday morning, you ride in a car with a group of adults driving in circles around town taking turns to get out one at a time to knock on a door that you hoped no one would answer.. you might be a jw if going on vacation meant going to a summer regional or district assembly where you did not need to pack shorts, tennis shoes, or tank tops.
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you might be a jw if for lunch at the summer convention you and your family ate breakfast food from the holiday inn where you are staying for the summer assembly.. you might be a jw if the first thing that you think about when waking up in the morning is that it is meeting night.. you might be a jw if you introduce a person to another jw, not by the person's name by as my bible study.. you might be a jw if you don't celebrate christmas but will take the money from your employer to not come to work so that you can celebrate it..
You might be a Jehovah‘s witness if you claim to be a Bible student whose main goal is to spread God‘s word throughout the world yet you spend hours standing silently by a literature cart that contains no bibles.
“anne boleyn walked around and talked to her ladies in waiting half an hour after her head was cut off.”.
“anne boleyn walked around and talked to her ladies in waiting; half an hour after, her head was cut off.”.
please feel free to add your own examples and comments.. thanks..
Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.
Truly I tell you today, you will be with me in Paradise.
I'm sorry, you can't go with us.
I'm sorry you can't go with us.
my husband was df 3 years ago.
i still attended meetings but not regularly and for the past 10 months i have not attended any at all.
my husband wanted to get reinstated until maybe a few months ago when i started to help him to wake up.
Now, I think it would be good for him to get reinstated then fade out amd he wanted thus as well. But now he doesn't. The reason I think it would be good for him is because he has depression. He doesn't have ANY friends. Not even his co-workers are his friends.
Does he have any JW friends to go back to if he gets reinstated?
What does he say what his reasoning is on not wanting to go back now?
Losing all of ones network of friends/acquaintances is definitely a challenge that one has to be mentally prepared for. Does he indicate how he will deal with this aspect of leaving the JW's?
For me, the meetings were the source of a serious anxiety problem and after years of suffering, it disappeared overnight once I stopped going to those awful anxiety and depression provoking meetings that were making less and less sense and where I was left feeling hopeless about ever doing enough or being good enough.
greetings, pet owners and lovers:.
while i have no pets of my own, i do care for dogs and cats and have cared for bunnies and guinea pigs in the past.
i'm working on an essay with an 11-year-old student, and the subject is symbiotic relationships and how humans learn from their close interaction with animals.. here is a portion of the reference material under study:.
Before we go deciding on our own how we feel about our pets , I want to remind everyone to refer to the online Watchtower library to see what the "current thinking" is, on the matter of pets (remember that JW expression "current thinking")
Remember how handy it was to have the bound volumes of the watchtower and awake magazines at our disposal so that we could look back over the years and see how we were supposed to feel and what we were supposed to be thinking about?